Good God Can you still get us home?

I hate this.

I hate not knowing.

I hate everything that is going on.

I do not hate you.

Today was weird like,

I felt like you already chose him

and surprisingly it hurt, bad

The worst pain of sadness I have felt in a long time

witch made me think about how I care about you so much

and how this "thing" has transformed from more than a thing

for me at least...

You might know what you will do and that is fine

either way I can deal,

I'm tougher than most.

But I fall harder than the rest.

Don't really blame me for not saying something,

It's hard to talk about things, I haven't in a long time

And Taking down these walls i have built around me,

They've been standing for so long that I need help pulling them down.

I don't know why I do thought

I am sorry for all of this,

because I am making what is hard harder

and I hate it.

I apologize.